50 Shades of Rumbling
by Deerhunter00025
Summary: A roll of toilet paper in one hand and a clean pair of boxers in the other. All he wanted to do was make a simple breakfast for his family. But all he gets out of it is a upset stomach and a sick Teddy. Just a short fun story to enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

My first one to ever write so please be kind. Special thanks to 1974alner for being my beta and friend. Carol for the awesome title, and the ones who have inspired me to try my hand at writing.

Christian

Today is the day the people from New York are coming in for a meeting. I have been trying to get them to sell me the shipping yard they have over there for the last three years.

But first I decide to get up and make Ana and the kid's breakfast and serve them in bed. Looking down at my beautiful wife's sleeping form I sigh. Leaning down I brush my lips over her forehead and reluctantly rise out of bed.

After all these years, Ana still does things to me. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined my life where it is now. Married to the most beautiful woman in this world and having two kids. They are the three most important people in my life. I went from a cold hearted dominant, to having a girlfriend, then getting engaged and before I knew it we were married and Teddy was on his way. Two years later we welcomed little Phoebe into our family.

After my shower I check on the kids, who are thankfully still asleep, and make my way down to the kitchen. I find Gail getting the coffee ready. Wordlessly she places a cup of coffee in front of me and I tell her my plans of wanting to make Ana and the kid's breakfast. She pales slightly, gives me a single nod and without a word walks into the family room.

How hard can simple scrambled eggs be? I've seen Ana and Gail do it a hundred times before. And if I am able to run a multi-billion dollar company, I sure as hell can manage a few eggs.

Show them Grey!

Step 1; break the eggs and add them to the bowl. Step 2; whisk together. Hmm, I look at the whisk in my hand and I think of all the things I could do with it, besides cooking. Focus, Grey.

Step 3; Add salt and pepper. Step 4; add whisked eggs into the skillet and turn the heat on low. Since I am not a very patient man I decide to multitask. So while the eggs are cooking I pop a few pieces of bread in the toaster.

By the time the food is ready Ana and the kids have made their way downstairs. Ana's face when she sees me fixing the plates is one of utter shock. She opens her mouth but is distracted by Teddy and Phoebe.

"No, Phoebe, It was my turn today to sit next to daddy!" He stomps his little foot on the floor and squares his little shoulders. Bless him, because his little sister isn't impressed. She simply sticks out her tongue and climbs on the stool he wants to sit in.

"Mom, did you see what Phoebe did?" Teddy whines, his bottom lip trembling.

Ana sighs. "Phoebe…"

With huge eyes Phoebe looks at Ana. "Mommy…" and then it is all gibberish. Her arms are moving and her face is turning a darker color red, so I assume she is really passionate about her dialogue. Fortunately no one understands a word of what she is saying. She tends to talk gibberish when she gets aggravated.

"I've made breakfast!" I say cutting her off.

Phoebe's blue eyes turn impossibly bigger and then she scrunches her nose.

"Where is Gail, Christian?" Ana looks at me and then to her plate filled with eggs.

"I thought she deserved a morning off…" Then I point to their plates. "Now eat."

I beam with pride when I see Teddy shoving the eggs in his mouth. Ana is a different story. She swallows, quickly takes a sip of her tea but the look on her face is like she just ate something sour.

Cocking my eyebrow at my wife I pick up my fork and demonstratively take a bite, however when I start chewing and my eyes meet my wife's I realize that the eggs taste like shit. She gives me a little shrug and pushes the plate away from her.

Slowly rising from her seat Ana walks to the kitchen and looks at the ingredients I used.

"Christian, is this a new recipe?" She avoids my eyes looking down at the counter, biting her lip.

"Why?"

"I don't remember ever using sugar…" Oh fuck! Throwing my fork on the table I look at my plate and to my horror I also realize that the eggs are runny. Fuck, I didn't only add sugar instead of salt, but I also undercooked the fucking eggs.

Getting up from the table I gather all the plates and throw everything in the trash.

"Yay" Phoebe squeals throwing her pudgy arms in the air and bouncing up and down in her chair.

Being pushed for time Ana decides on cereal for all four of us. How is this possible? I can run a billion dollar company, but I can't cook a simple scrambled egg breakfast for my family.

Thanks, to me, trying to impress Ana and the kids with breakfast in bed I have been battling a stomach ache. During the meeting I uncomfortably shift in my seat.

Note to fucking self; when cooking eggs, make sure they are done. Sighing and pressing my ass-cheeks together I wipe the sweat from my forehead.

Ros, my second in command, smiles and reaches for her phone. Seconds later my phone buzzes with an incoming message.

\- Enjoying the eggs, boss?

Ana and her big mouth.

My response: - You are fucking fired.

Her responses by snorting and focusing her attention back on the fucker who just can't stop talking.

Looking at my watch I decide to call it a day. Turning off my laptop I look at my watch and call for Taylor. As soon as I get up and start packing my MacBook and phone I feel and hear the rumble in my stomach.

As I grab the desk trying to steady myself, another rumble comes. I look up when the door opens and Taylor walks in.

"Ready, Sir?"

His eyes widen when I just stare at him and shake my head. Bad fucking timing Taylor.

"Is everything all right, Mr. Grey?"

"Just give me a second, Taylor."

As I hurry to my office bathroom I swear I hear Taylor on the phone with Andrea telling her we need air freshener. Just as I am unbuttoning my pants another, horrifyingly loud rumble comes. I offer up a silent thank you to the God of the rumbles as I was just in time to sit down.

Relief. Sweet fucking relief. The smell however is another thing altogether. We definitely need the air freshener.

My thoughts go back to the text I received from Ana a few minutes ago. Saying how she was planning on thanking me tonight. I sure as fuck hope she is going to thank me my making sure the bathroom is stocked with toilet paper and keeps refilling the Pepto.

Jesus Christ, when is this going to end? My asshole is literally on fire. For the last fifteen minutes I have been sitting here like a moron, paying my deepest respects to the porcelain God. Every now and then I lift my stinging ass from the toilet and flush, hoping it will not clog. Because that could get seriously ugly.

My nose and eyes are literally on fire from the horrifying, trenchant smell.

I bet my entire company that even Andrea and Taylor can smell it. Hell I think they can even smell it down at the reception area, thirty floors down. Thank fuck they both signed and NDA all those years ago, because I can already read the headlines.

"Seattle's biggest business tycoon found unconscious in bathroom after a bowel movement gone wrong"

The press would have a field day if they got wind of this.

Once I know I have the all clear sign, I grab the toilet paper, only to realize that I have a little stain in my white boxers. Not as quick as you thought huh, Grey?

It was only a few months ago when we got Phoebe potty trained, but now it looks like I am going to have to start potty training all over again.

After cleaning myself and throwing away the disgusting boxers I make a mental note to have Taylor stop by Walgreens for some Pepto and anal bleaching cream, just in case we are out at the house. You can never be too prepared. I was my hands and when I open the door to my office I get a big whiff of tropical flowers. However the smell of the air refresher does nothing to the smell coming from the bathroom.

Turning my face I see Taylor standing at the door holding back the smirk on his face. Maybe he has gas too?

"Everything come out okay, Sir?" I put my CEO face on and let out a tight 'let's go'

Grabbing my bag and phone we make our way to the elevator. Being in a tight space with Taylor is always awkward but being in the elevator with Taylor and having an upset stomach is just downright embarrassing. And I really don't handle embarrassment very well. With that fucking smirk still on his face, Taylor pushes the button for the ground floor. I just stand completely still, holding my ass cheeks together in fear of letting one seep through. Quickly we make our way through the lobby and out of the front door and I have never in my life been happier to smell fresh air. Knowing I usually sit up front with him, Taylor goes to open the front door. I politely decline and opt for the backseat. No way in hell I am going to sit beside him.

I can feel the sweat running down my back when Taylor pulls away from the curb. "Taylor we are going to make a short stop before we head home. Please stop by the closest Walgreens and get me two bottles of Pepto and anal bleaching cream."

I don't know if Teddy is sick too, but since he ate the most eggs I assume his stomach is messed up too.

As we leave I remind Taylor not to forget to stop by the closet Walgreens. "Taylor I need for you to go in and get me two bottles of Pepto and some anal bleaching cream". I go flying forward in my seat and poot when Taylor hits the breaks.

"Jesus, Taylor what the hell". He looks at me through the rearview mirror and I can see the fear in his eyes. Politely and not loosing eye contact he cracks open the window.

When I look up I see that we have reached out destination.

"Sir, in what department would I find the anal cream?"

"And how the fuck would I know!" I say without making any weird or sudden movements. "Try the fucking ass isle for all I care."

His brow furrows as he thinks this over. "Sir, I don't think they actually have an ass isle."

"Well ask someone for fucks sake! And hurry the fuck up!"

Chapter 2 is almost ready to post. Thanks, for reading and please leave a review!


	2. Enjoy!

Enjoy!

Christian

The ride back to the sound was one of the longest rides I have ever had. Believe me pressing your ass cheeks together gets exhausting at some point. Taylor just couldn't keep his mouth shut with all the fucking questions and he certainly couldn't get his finger off the window button.

"Sir, are you alright backing there?" When our eyes meet in the rearview mirror I simply raise my eyebrow.

Fucking finally we reach the house where Taylor drops me off at the front door. I grab the Walgreens bag and quickly head inside. All I want to do is take some medicine and lay down for a while. As soon as I make my way inside, I go straight to the kitchen where I find my beautiful wife pouring some medicine in a little cup.

"Ana, what are you doing at noon? Are you sick? And why the fuck didn't I receive a text from you or Sawyer letting me know you were coming home."

Turning her head to look at me I can see she is dying to roll her eyes at me. "I am home early, Christian; because I got a call from Teddy's school saying he has an upset stomach and didn't make it to the bathroom in time." I hang my head down in shame as guilt rushes through me. Knowing I am the one who made my son sick is heartbreaking.

"Anyway," She continues. "I decided to go ahead and pick Phoebe up from daycare as well."

"Phoebe is sick too?"

"No, Phoebe isn't sick and neither am I. I barely tasted those eggs…" She says. "And Phoebe didn't even taste them." Smart girl.

Leaning her hip against the counter she cocks her head to the side. "What are you doing home so early? Didn't you tell me this morning about that important meeting?"

"My meeting was done early and I decided to call it an early day. I am tired and not feeling all too well. My stomach also seems to be acting up." I confess. Right on Q my stomach decides to rumble again. When I look up I see my wife trying her best not to laugh.

"Really, Ana? My hand still twitches, you know?"

"I think you need to worry more about what is twitching in your stomach and boxers than your hand, Mr. Grey." She smirks.

"Just pour me some medicine, Mrs. Grey." Quickly I turn to take the medicine Ana has poured me. Ah, sweet relief. When I turn around I see Ana placing the two bottles of Pepto on the bar. Oh, Christ! I forgot to hide the anal cream in my jacket. She wasn't supposed to see that!

"Anal cream, Christian? You know that I get mine bleached every time I have a wax."

"That is not for you, Ana" I answer clipped.

"What do you mean this is not for me? Who else could it be for? Don't you dare tell me you bought this for Teddy? For fucks sake, Christian, the boy is only five years old." Jesus, what's with the twenty questions?

"Watch your mouth, Ana. It is for me, okay? Happy now?"

"Christian, why do you need it? It's not like you ever let me see it. I mean, you think it is perfectly fine to lick, kiss, and shove a butt plug in my ass, but every time I even think about doing something like that to you, you shut me up." I watch as she throws her hand in the air and I see her rolling her eyes before she turns around and stomps out of the kitchen and heading towards the family room. Which I assume is where Teddy and Phoebe are.

I put my glass and medicine cup in the sink, grab the anal cream from the kitchen counter and head upstairs. After hiding the anal cream in one of my suit jackets in the walk in closet I run to Phoebe's room to grab the Desitin Clear Diaper Rash Ointment. The one she used to have when she was a baby. Something's gotta give.

It feels like my asshole is a fucking volcano that's been shooting hot lava out all day. Making my way back to the bedroom I grab some clothes and head to the bathroom. Thinking maybe I just need to try and go one more time before I take a shower. After sitting down I check my boxers just to make sure I don't have any more embarrassing stains. Really Grey? All the countless times you've had your former subs in god knows how many awkward situations. You are now worried about a little shit on your boxers?

I decide to pass the time by checking my emails. Good to know the meeting was worth it. We got the deal, now just waiting on them to sign the contracts.

I roll my eyes when I see my brother's name flashes over the screen. Seriously, my brother always picks the worst time to call.

"Grey." I answer clipped.

"Hey, bro! Ava forgot her lunch at home and when Kate went to school to take it to her, she saw Ana leaving with Ted. Is everything okay? There are not threats, right? And please don't tell me my little guy is sick?" Well, the only threat happening right now is me trying not to blow the toilet up while talking to my brother.

"No threats, Elliot. The school called and Ted had a stomach ache. So Ana went and picked him and Phoebe up."

No fucking way I am telling him about my cooking this morning or the fact that I have just about shit myself at work.

"Okay, but why are you home early, Christian? You hardly ever leave work early."

"For fucks sake Elliot I decided to call it a day when I found out Ana came home with the kids. I wasn't going to let her take care of the both of them if Phoebe comes down with the stomach virus too."

"Ok, I told Kate I'd call and check. I'll let you get back to tending to the kids." Oh thank God! Finally after ending the call with Elliot… I feel it again. The volcano is getting ready to blow again. I hold on to the sink and my ass is like a whales blow hole on top of their head. But instead of shooting water out something that looks like a failed science project does. Christ, the smell is horrifying.

I turn my phone off and clean myself up the best as I can. Jesus is this what Ana's ass feels like every time we do anal play? Stepping in the shower I have never felt better. Being able to wash the stink and filth off of you always helps.

Stepping out of the shower and drying off I apply some Desitin Clear Diaper Rash Ointment. Thank God it's the clear kind. I wouldn't want Gail to see this in my boxers.

I make my way downstairs to the family room to find Ana and the kids curled up watching the cartoon Captain Underpants. Fuck after the mishap Ted and I have had. That would be the last thing I would want to watch. Maybe I can try and convince them to watch something else. Frozen is out of the fucking question. Every time Elsa would start singing "Let it go" I would feel the need to run to the bathroom and really let it go. Sponge Bob a big no. Sponges absorb stuff, just like toilet paper does. Cars is also out of the question. Reminds me of the car ride I had with Taylor. Think Grey, think of a cartoon that doesn't involve something that has happened today.

I make my way over to the couch and pick Phoebe up. I tickle her under her chin and place her on my lap. Then I kiss Ana's cheek and ruffle Ted's hair. Sitting in between them with my princess on my lap, my wife on my left and my son on my right is perfects. And what is even more perfect is that the rumble in my stomach has seemed to ease up. My word feels complete. Picking the remote up I flip through the cartoons and decide on the Lego Batman Movie.

"How are you feeling, Christian? You were upstairs for a while" Ana looks up at me worriedly.

"Much better!" I say. "I took a shower and oh Elliot called. He wanted to check that everything was ok. It seems Kate saw you leaving with Teddy."

"You didn't tell him Ted had an accident did you?" Ana whispers.

"No, Ana I didn't tell him about Ted's accident." Or mine either I think to myself.

"I just told him Ted's stomach was messed up and you decided to go ahead and pick Phoebe up as well."

"Hey buddy," I say ruffling his hair again. "Mommy said your tummy was hurting at school." I'm not going to dare bring up the fact he pooped his pants. Been there, done that myself not even two hours ago.

"Are you feeling any better now?"

"Yes, sir, my tummy started hurting right when we started our reading assignment. I thought I would be ok. But then my tummy started making funny grunting noises like the kind I hear you make sometimes with mommy".

I shoot a glance at my wife and notice her eyes are about to pop out of her head. All these times I've told Ana to keep it down when we're trying to sneak and fool around seems to be catching up with me.

"Anyway when it got worse, I raised my hand and asked Ms. Berry if I could get a hall pass and go to the bathroom. I made it half way down the hall and I felt some come out." He bites his lip and looks nervously at his sister.

"You are not mad are you, daddy"? I look down at my son and see that he is embarrassed.

"No, son, I'm not mad. Sometimes accidents like that happen." I admit.

"Have you ever had an accident like that before daddy?" I should have known that he was going to ask me that and I have two options; either lie to my son or simply tell him the truth.

"Yes, son I believe we all have had an accident like that at some point."

"When was the last time you had an accident?"

"Well, son, to be honest I had one not too terribly long ago."

"Like when you were my age. Because I am a big boy, I am daddy."

"Yes, son I know you are a big boy. But to answer your question. I had one while I was at work earlier."

I glance out of the corner of my eye and notice Ana is leaned over trying to control her laughter.

"You pooped your britches daddy?" He squeals. "Did Mr. Taylor have to bring you some new clothes to change into?"

"No, Teddy, I cleaned myself up and threw the boxers away."

He nods. "Mommy had to bring me some new clothes."

"I know and it is okay, though."

"But you are feeling better now, right?"

"I am daddy." I give him a smile and focus on my little princess sitting on my lap.

"And how was your day, Phoebe? Did you have a good day at daycare?"

"I did, daddy, I pwayed with Abby in the dwess up cwose. And pwayed pway-doh. And we had circle time. Do you know what number and cwolor we learded today daddy?" She asks excitedly.

"No princess why don't you tell me?"

"We learned the cwolor bwown and the number two. And Ms. Telly asked us what all things are bwown". I'm probably going to regret asking this.

"And what did you tell Ms. Kelly about the color BROWN?" Maybe if I say it the right way she will pick up on it. "Well daddy. I tolds her twees are bwown, frogs are sometimes bwown, and our dog meatball is bwown". Well done Phoebe.

"Uhh-huh I knows I'm smawt." She says proudly and clasps her hands together.

Thanks again to my awesome beta 1974Alner. Only 1 more chapter to go!


	3. Chapter 3

Enjoy!

Christian

The ride back to the sound was one of the longest rides I have ever had. Believe me pressing your ass cheeks together gets exhausting at some point. Taylor just couldn't keep his mouth shut with all the fucking questions and he certainly couldn't get his finger off the window button.

"Sir, are you alright backing there?" When our eyes meet in the rearview mirror I simply raise my eyebrow.

Fucking finally we reach the house where Taylor drops me off at the front door. I grab the Walgreens bag and quickly head inside. All I want to do is take some medicine and lay down for a while. As soon as I make my way inside, I go straight to the kitchen where I find my beautiful wife pouring some medicine in a little cup.

"Ana, what are you doing at noon? Are you sick? And why the fuck didn't I receive a text from you or Sawyer letting me know you were coming home."

Turning her head to look at me I can see she is dying to roll her eyes at me. "I am home early, Christian; because I got a call from Teddy's school saying he has an upset stomach and didn't make it to the bathroom in time." I hang my head down in shame as guilt rushes through me. Knowing I am the one who made my son sick is heartbreaking.

"Anyway," She continues. "I decided to go ahead and pick Phoebe up from daycare as well."

"Phoebe is sick too?"

"No, Phoebe isn't sick and neither am I. I barely tasted those eggs…" She says. "And Phoebe didn't even taste them." Smart girl.

Leaning her hip against the counter she cocks her head to the side. "What are you doing home so early? Didn't you tell me this morning about that important meeting?"

"My meeting was done early and I decided to call it an early day. I am tired and not feeling all too well. My stomach also seems to be acting up." I confess. Right on Q my stomach decides to rumble again. When I look up I see my wife trying her best not to laugh.

"Really, Ana? My hand still twitches, you know?"

"I think you need to worry more about what is twitching in your stomach and boxers than your hand, Mr. Grey." She smirks.

"Just pour me some medicine, Mrs. Grey." Quickly I turn to take the medicine Ana has poured me. Ah, sweet relief. When I turn around I see Ana placing the two bottles of Pepto on the bar. Oh, Christ! I forgot to hide the anal cream in my jacket. She wasn't supposed to see that!

"Anal cream, Christian? You know that I get mine bleached every time I have a wax."

"That is not for you, Ana" I answer clipped.

"What do you mean this is not for me? Who else could it be for? Don't you dare tell me you bought this for Teddy? For fucks sake, Christian, the boy is only five years old." Jesus, what's with the twenty questions?

"Watch your mouth, Ana. It is for me, okay? Happy now?"

"Christian, why do you need it? It's not like you ever let me see it. I mean, you think it is perfectly fine to lick, kiss, and shove a butt plug in my ass, but every time I even think about doing something like that to you, you shut me up." I watch as she throws her hand in the air and I see her rolling her eyes before she turns around and stomps out of the kitchen and heading towards the family room. Which I assume is where Teddy and Phoebe are.

I put my glass and medicine cup in the sink, grab the anal cream from the kitchen counter and head upstairs. After hiding the anal cream in one of my suit jackets in the walk in closet I run to Phoebe's room to grab the Desitin Clear Diaper Rash Ointment. The one she used to have when she was a baby. Something's gotta give.

It feels like my asshole is a fucking volcano that's been shooting hot lava out all day. Making my way back to the bedroom I grab some clothes and head to the bathroom. Thinking maybe I just need to try and go one more time before I take a shower. After sitting down I check my boxers just to make sure I don't have any more embarrassing stains. Really Grey? All the countless times you've had your former subs in god knows how many awkward situations. You are now worried about a little shit on your boxers?

I decide to pass the time by checking my emails. Good to know the meeting was worth it. We got the deal, now just waiting on them to sign the contracts.

I roll my eyes when I see my brother's name flashes over the screen. Seriously, my brother always picks the worst time to call.

"Grey." I answer clipped.

"Hey, bro! Ava forgot her lunch at home and when Kate went to school to take it to her, she saw Ana leaving with Ted. Is everything okay? There are not threats, right? And please don't tell me my little guy is sick?" Well, the only threat happening right now is me trying not to blow the toilet up while talking to my brother.

"No threats, Elliot. The school called and Ted had a stomach ache. So Ana went and picked him and Phoebe up."

No fucking way I am telling him about my cooking this morning or the fact that I have just about shit myself at work.

"Okay, but why are you home early, Christian? You hardly ever leave work early."

"For fucks sake Elliot I decided to call it a day when I found out Ana came home with the kids. I wasn't going to let her take care of the both of them if Phoebe comes down with the stomach virus too."

"Ok, I told Kate I'd call and check. I'll let you get back to tending to the kids." Oh thank God! Finally after ending the call with Elliot… I feel it again. The volcano is getting ready to blow again. I hold on to the sink and my ass is like a whales blow hole on top of their head. But instead of shooting water out something that looks like a failed science project does. Christ, the smell is horrifying.

I turn my phone off and clean myself up the best as I can. Jesus is this what Ana's ass feels like every time we do anal play? Stepping in the shower I have never felt better. Being able to wash the stink and filth off of you always helps.

Stepping out of the shower and drying off I apply some Desitin Clear Diaper Rash Ointment. Thank God it's the clear kind. I wouldn't want Gail to see this in my boxers.

I make my way downstairs to the family room to find Ana and the kids curled up watching the cartoon Captain Underpants. Fuck after the mishap Ted and I have had. That would be the last thing I would want to watch. Maybe I can try and convince them to watch something else. Frozen is out of the fucking question. Every time Elsa would start singing "Let it go" I would feel the need to run to the bathroom and really let it go. Sponge Bob a big no. Sponges absorb stuff, just like toilet paper does. Cars is also out of the question. Reminds me of the car ride I had with Taylor. Think Grey, think of a cartoon that doesn't involve something that has happened today.

I make my way over to the couch and pick Phoebe up. I tickle her under her chin and place her on my lap. Then I kiss Ana's cheek and ruffle Ted's hair. Sitting in between them with my princess on my lap, my wife on my left and my son on my right is perfects. And what is even more perfect is that the rumble in my stomach has seemed to ease up. My word feels complete. Picking the remote up I flip through the cartoons and decide on the Lego Batman Movie.

"How are you feeling, Christian? You were upstairs for a while" Ana looks up at me worriedly.

"Much better!" I say. "I took a shower and oh Elliot called. He wanted to check that everything was ok. It seems Kate saw you leaving with Teddy."

"You didn't tell him Ted had an accident did you?" Ana whispers.

"No, Ana I didn't tell him about Ted's accident." Or mine either I think to myself.

"I just told him Ted's stomach was messed up and you decided to go ahead and pick Phoebe up as well."

"Hey buddy," I say ruffling his hair again. "Mommy said your tummy was hurting at school." I'm not going to dare bring up the fact he pooped his pants. Been there, done that myself not even two hours ago.

"Are you feeling any better now?"

"Yes, sir, my tummy started hurting right when we started our reading assignment. I thought I would be ok. But then my tummy started making funny grunting noises like the kind I hear you make sometimes with mommy".

I shoot a glance at my wife and notice her eyes are about to pop out of her head. All these times I've told Ana to keep it down when we're trying to sneak and fool around seems to be catching up with me.

"Anyway when it got worse, I raised my hand and asked Ms. Berry if I could get a hall pass and go to the bathroom. I made it half way down the hall and I felt some come out." He bites his lip and looks nervously at his sister.

"You are not mad are you, daddy"? I look down at my son and see that he is embarrassed.

"No, son, I'm not mad. Sometimes accidents like that happen." I admit.

"Have you ever had an accident like that before daddy?" I should have known that he was going to ask me that and I have two options; either lie to my son or simply tell him the truth.

"Yes, son I believe we all have had an accident like that at some point."

"When was the last time you had an accident?"

"Well, son, to be honest I had one not too terribly long ago."

"Like when you were my age. Because I am a big boy, I am daddy."

"Yes, son I know you are a big boy. But to answer your question. I had one while I was at work earlier."

I glance out of the corner of my eye and notice Ana is leaned over trying to control her laughter.

"You pooped your britches daddy?" He squeals. "Did Mr. Taylor have to bring you some new clothes to change into?"

"No, Teddy, I cleaned myself up and threw the boxers away."

He nods. "Mommy had to bring me some new clothes."

"I know and it is okay, though."

"But you are feeling better now, right?"

"I am daddy." I give him a smile and focus on my little princess sitting on my lap.

"And how was your day, Phoebe? Did you have a good day at daycare?"

"I did, daddy, I pwayed with Abby in the dwess up cwose. And pwayed pway-doh. And we had circle time. Do you know what number and cwolor we learded today daddy?" She asks excitedly.

"No princess why don't you tell me?"

"We learned the cwolor bwown and the number two. And Ms. Telly asked us what all things are bwown". I'm probably going to regret asking this.

"And what did you tell Ms. Kelly about the color BROWN?" Maybe if I say it the right way she will pick up on it. "Well daddy. I tolds her twees are bwown, frogs are sometimes bwown, and our dog meatball is bwown". Well done Phoebe.

"Uhh-huh I knows I'm smawt." She says proudly and clasps her hands together.

Thanks again to my awesome beta 1974Alner. Only 1 more chapter to go!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

After Phoebe and Ted have given me a rundown of their day, Gail comes in the room letting us know that our late lunch is ready.

"Mr. Grey. Since I wasn't sure how Ted's stomach was feeling, I decided on making something light." She looks lovingly at my son and then back at me. Thank God she doesn't know about what happened to me and Taylor has kept his mouth shut.

"Thank you" Ana smiles at her.

Making our way to the kitchen Phoebe takes off running at full speed. "Stop running Pheebs! You could fall and hurt yourself!" I chuckle when I look down at my son reprimanding his little sister.

"He is sounding more and more like you every day, Christian."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Depends on the situation" She shrugs and looks over her shoulder giving me a little smirk.

"You and your smart mouth, Ana." I grab her elbow and pull her towards me. "And don't think I didn't see you roll your eyes at me. That is twice you have made my palm twitch today." I whisper in her ear.

"And you will do well remembering what I told you about something else twitching too, Christian. But how is your stomach feeling?"

"Much better thank you for asking." I let go of her arm and we continue our way to the kitchen.

"Christian it doesn't matter what in thought of your cooking this morning. The thought was really sweet. That is one of the things I love about you".

Smiling back to myself I start digging into my lunch. The kids haven't spoken a word since they started eating. They must have been hungry, seeing how they only had cereal for breakfast.

"Dad do you think maybe after we eat lunch we can take Jax and Meatball outside and play"? Looking down at the furry members of the Grey household. I'll never forget how we ended up with these two. Phoebe and Ted wanted a pet of their own. Ted's first choice was a hamster. There was no way was I going to have a rodent in the house. Phoebe wanted two rabbits. Nope, not going to happen. I wasn't going to have something in my house that fucks more than my wife and I. So we compromised on a dog for each.

"Sure, as long as you are feeling better"

"Seeing how it's the weekend Christian do we have any plans"?

"I thought about inviting the family over tomorrow for a BBQ. Let the kids play and swim for a while, while we adults have a few beverages. I'll send Charlie Tango down in the morning for Ray. I was thinking about seeing if mom and dad wanted to take the kids home with them tomorrow night. Then you and I could have a little one on fun by ourselves." I wink at her and quickly look at the kids but they are oblivious to our conversation.

"Are you planning on bleaching your, well...you know between now and then"?

"Seriously Ana you weren't supposed to even see that. I should have been more careful. I'm just glad Ted didn't pick it up and think it was toothpaste."

"Did you actually go into Walgreens yourself and buy it?" She giggles and now it is my turn to roll my eyes.

"Of course I didn't go into Walgreens to buy that shit myself. I had Taylor go in."

While Ana and I sit back and watch the kids play and chase the dogs. I start planning tomorrow night out in my head with my sexy wife. _Stop thinking about it, Grey. No need to get a hard on right now._

Seeing how Ana didn't want to play last night, the both of us got plenty of rest. Looking down at my sleeping beauty I lean over, kiss her head and make my way over to the closet to get the anal bleach cream.

Time to start my three S's plus a little AB. Shit, shower, shave, and anal bleaching time.

I take care of the shower and shave because let's be honest, there is nothing left to come out of the other end. _That's because Ana loaded my ass up with pepto last night_. Now feeling fresh as a daisy from my shower I decide on locking the door. Wouldn't want Ana coming in and seeing me with my leg cocked up on the sink with my head bent down looking between my legs. And that would look like I am sticking my sticking my finger up my ass. _I swear I would never hear the end of that._

Making my way up to Ted's room I start singing to myself. "No more unexpected dribble and no more feeling like my asshole is on fire. Great way to start the day."

I find Teddy in bed playing with Jax the lab.

"Hey buddy, how are you feeling this morning?"

"Much better daddy. Are we still having the family BBQ today? Maybe Ava and I can go for a swim in the pool." Visions of a turd floating in the pool come bouncing in my head. I first wanted to make sure he was feeling better before I even brought up going swimming today. Wouldn't want to upset the little guy.

"Sure son, as long as you are feeling up to it, and as long as Aunt Kate and Uncle Lelliot says it's ok."

He nods happily before turning back to play with Jax.

Opening the door to Phoebe's room I hold my breath for a second, because we never know how we are going to find her. Today seems to be the day she has decided to be sleeping under the covers with her whole body sideways. All I see is a brown paw sticking out, which belongs to her poodle Meatball. I make my way over to her and pull the covers down and give Meatball's paw a little squeeze. _Jesus she's going to give me a heart attack one of these days. Only three and so much like her mother_.

Rounding the corner I see Taylor talking to Gail in the kitchen. Being in a good mood and not the bastard I usually am I stand back for a while and let them have their good morning in peace. When they realize I am standing in the doorway like an idiot I give a quick nod to both of them and give Gail a small smile as I take a seat at the breakfast bar.

Like every morning she set a cup of coffee in front of me. "Egg white omelet this morning, Mr. Grey?"

Looking up I notice Taylor trying and failing at laughing at the mention of eggs.

 _I should fire his ass just for laughing_. The bastard wouldn't be laughing if the tables were turned on him.

"No eggs for me this morning Gail, give me a minute, please."

Discretely I open Google on my phone. "Taylor what time should Ray be arriving?"

"In about an hour and a half sir."

I nod and quickly Google "food that doesn't contain eggs." Mentally and physically I don't think my body can handle anything that has eggs in it this morning.

"I think the kids and Ana would love bagels, bacon, and hash browns Gail, if that's not too much to ask."

"Of course not Mr. Grey."

Taking my first sip of coffee, I see Ana and the kids making their way into the kitchen. Ana walks to where I am sitting, kisses me on the cheek and whispers.

"I missed you in bed this morning. You know I hate waking up alone."

"I'm sorry, beautiful I couldn't sleep anymore and I didn't have the heart to wake you." _And I wanted to slip in the bathroom to make sure my stomach was in the all clear._ No way would I have wanted her to hear it, or walk into what would have smelled like something had crawled up my ass and died. My nose still hasn't recovered from that horrific smell yesterday.

My princess wanting to beat her brother on the good morning starts talking. "Good morning daddy, me and Meatball had a good sweep too."

"I noticed that princess, when I came and checked in on you this morning. You really need to stop sleeping like that. It's. It not safe Pheebs"

Just as Mrs. Taylor places the food on the bar Teddy starts talking too. He probably doesn't want to feel left out.

"Dad at what time is everyone getting here?"

"Well your grandpa Ray will be here in about an hour and fifteen minutes, and the rest of the family should get here around twelve or so."

"Christian who did you invite?"

"The whole family Ana. Your dad, my mom and dad, Mia and Ethan, Elliot, and Kate. Oh, and I gave Taylor and Sawyer the day off as well. Taylor is fixing to head off to go pick up Sophie from her mothers."

"What about all the meat and all the sides Christian? There's no way I can go to the grocery store and come home and get everything ready?"

"Calm down ! And don't roll your eyes at me. You do remember I'm taking note on how many times you have rolled your eyes. That one right there just cost you spanking number 4. Gail picked up the meat yesterday. Mom is bringing the salad and baked beans. Mia is bringing the deserts and potato salad. Kate! Well I told Kate just to bring a watermelon. You know the girl still can't cook, even after we got her the cooking classes 2 years ago for Christmas. Poor Elliot, he's always complaining about how she still burns water while trying to cook"

"Dad are you talking about Aunt Kate? You know the last time me and Pheebs stayed over there, she tried cooking Mac and Cheese and burned it. She burned it so bad Uncle Lelliot had to throw the pan away."

After breakfast I take Ted to his room to help get him ready, while Ana takes our very energetic 3 year old. Ana comes walking out with a smoking hot black bikini on with a white cover up making my dick twitch. _Do not get a hard on! Do not get a heard on!_

I will myself to think of everything unpleasant. My dad walking around in a Speedo. Kate with hairy armpits. Elliot on the toilet in my house taking a shit like I was yesterday. _Yep, that did it._

"Ana don't take your cover-up off today. That body belongs to me. I don't want people looking at you like that. Even if it's just family. Do you understand?"

"What happen to delayed gratification Mr. Grey?" If you take it off Ana. So help me I'll kick everyone out so fast they be out of the door before they can say the Easter Bunny is coming in a few weeks."

"You know Christian, the Easter Bunny always brings chocolate eggs. You know those kind with the cream filling in them happen to be my favorite."

"I'm well aware Ana. I'll be sure to give you something that's filled with cream later. You know Mr. BG is always locked and loaded with cream when I'm around you."

I smirk down at my wife when I see the blush spreading over her face and head outside when we hear the sounds of the rotor blades turning. That's our signal grandpa Ray has arrived. The kids and the dogs beat us outside. After Ray hops out, he gives the dogs a head rub and the kids a hug. He makes his way over to us smiling.

Thanks to Ana my fear of touch doesn't seem to bother me anymore. Well with family members that is. Let a stranger come up to me. Now that's a different story.

"Good to see you Ray, how was your flight?"

"Morning son, everything was good."

"Grandpa Way, you think you can play dolls with me in a wittle bit?" Leave it to my sweet baby girl to ask everyone she meets to play dolls and dress up with her. "Sure thing Phoebe!"

"Yeah Phoebe, he can play dolls with you before we get into the pool."

"Yous not the boss of my or grandpa Way, Teddy." Seeing Phoebe with her hand on her hips I know it is time to step in.

"Hey you two knock it off." Phoebe scowls and walks away stomping her little feet. While Teddy mutters 'girls' under his breath.

After spending the morning with Ray, actually Phoebe and Sophie took him upstairs to do God knows what with, the rest of the family members start arriving. The first to arrive is mom and dad. With a kiss on my cheek my mom goes to the kitchen with Ana and Gail.

I follow my dad to the patio. "Son, Elliot called yesterday and said Teddy got sick at school with the stomach virus and Ana picked him up early. I trust he's better now?"

 _Jesus Christ the boy has a big mouth_. _Almost as big as Kate's._ "Yes dad everything is fine. He just had a stomach ache."

"Just checking son. No need to get your boxers in a twist" A feeling of pride actually sweeps threw me knowing I can wear boxers today. Thank god the rest of the family has showed up. Walking in next is queen crazy with her bump sticking out and Elliot with Ava on his shoulders.

"I still believe Kate is just as crazy as the first day I met her.

"Hey bro how's it hanging and what's up with this family BBQ?"

"I just thought it would be a nice day to have a family get together. If you are not happy then you can leave. There is the door and please be so kind to take your wife with you." I whisper the last sentence in his ear.

"Calm down you two, no need to tease one another." My mother says walking in from the kitchen, with a glass of tea for my dad. _Grace Trevelyan Grey, always the peacemaker._

Sitting around hearing Ted say "Grace" fills me with pride. After he thanks God for the food, every family member sitting here, the dogs, the squirrels, the new toy he got the other day. _Christ, he's worse than Grandpa Theo when he prays_. Just as I start to think he's fixing to throw the Amen in there he shocks the ever living shit out of me. "And thank you God, for not letting me and dad have anymore poo-poo accidents." Shooting a look at my wife I catch her trying to hold her laughter in. _Think Grey, how the hell are you going to get out of this one._ Finally we get the Amen we have all been waiting for.

Elliot being Elliot has to start his shit just as I imagined he would. "Christian last night on the phone you never mentioned anything about you having a poo-poo accident. All you said was Teddy was sick. _Now this right here is the reason why I didn't tell you I think to myself_.

"I'm fine Elliot let it go." I say sending him a glare. Normally Phoebe is my precious baby girl. But I swear right now she's turning into a mouth of the south."

"Daddy that's not what you said last night when we were having movie time. You said Ted had an accident in his cwose and you did too. You even said you had to put your panties in the twash cose you pooped a whittle in them. And when I asked mommy why you and Ted were sick. Her told me cause you cookeded eggs for bweskfast." She is nodding her head and looking around the table making sure everyone heard her. Well everyone fucking did.

Carefully I look up and notice all eyes are on me.

"Phoebe that's enough." _Shit that's twice in two days I've embarrassed myself. No way in hell I'm ever going to live this down._

"Really Christian, you know I'm going to rag you about shitting yourself for years to come. Well unless you give me a million. Then I'll keep my mouth shut."

"That's enough boys. And Elliot watch your mouth. Because trust me young man. I can tell them about how you were still wetting the bed at ten years of age."

Sitting back and feeling pretty dam good, I watch my brother's eyes almost popping out of his head. Silently I thank God when Kate turns around and slaps his arm and says.

"Babe, remember the other night when you went out with the boys from work. You came home three sheets to the wind. I woke up to the feel of something wet. That's when I noticed you had PEED all over yourself while sleeping. Also, remember…" "That's enough Kate. I promise I'll stop teasing Christian if you just stop. For the love of God. Just please stop."

"Just saying, babe." She says sweetly.

Finally the family and kids are gone. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids just as much as I love their mother, but tonight I can't wait to play with Ana. Also, there's been something playing on my mind for the last couple days. I just needed to run it by my wife and get her thoughts on it.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get the bath ready, baby? I'm just going to take the dogs out for a potty one last time."

Pushing the bathroom door open, I smell the sweet bubble bath she likes to use. I find her bending over the tub filling it up. Did I mention she's butt ass naked. Seeing her like this I immediately drop my pants and boxers. My hard as a rock cock springs free.

"Why hello Mr. Grey. I was wondering when you were going to come and find me." 'Why hello to you too Mrs. Grey." Pushing my dick into her backside I land a hard smack to her backside. The moan that escapes her mouth springs me on more." "That's one spanking only a few more to go. You think you can handle that baby?" "Let's get clean first before we get dirty Christian."

Sitting in the tub for almost 20 minutes, I decide to broach my thought. Fuck I'm nervous! This could make me or break me right here. Turning Ana around to face me. I have to see her emotions on her face. "Ana I've been thinking the last few weeks. Ted and Phoebe are getting older. I'm starting to miss really miss the pitter patter of little feet running through the house. I miss watching your stomach grow. Not to mention getting a taste of your breast milk. Your tits Ana. Don't even get me started on those puppies. Ana, what I'm trying to tell you is that I want another baby."

The smile on her face and the kiss she gives me lets me know the answer I need. But I still need to hear her say the words. "Christian I would love nothing more than to have another baby with you. But let's get you potty trained first."

The End

 **Author's note:**

 **Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my first story. A very special thank you to my friend 1974Alner. And a very special thank you to all you awesome writers out there who have inspired me to try my hand at writing.**


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